I'm Feeling Lucky
by MoonFire1
Summary: This will be a series of 'what if' drabbles. What if the Eli situation was nothing more than a bad dream? What if Blaine hadn't ever been a year behind Kurt? What if each writer hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button when searching for new plots?
1. Chapter 1

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky  
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine  
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. 90% of Season Three wouldn't have happened if that had been the case.  
Summary: I am not impressed by the Glee writers this season. In all honesty, I'm hardly ever impressed by them. This will be a series of 'what if' drabbles.

* * *

_Dear Kurt_

The letters stood out on the page. It indicated how far I had gotten in the process of trying to explain myself, my actions, my thoughts – such as they were.

_Dear Kurt_

I hadn't gotten very far at all. I could sing my feelings out, but my reputation for choosing patently inappropriate or awful songs was well deserved.

_Dear Kurt_

Kurt never had that trouble. He still doesn't – as far as I know. But I don't know anything anymore.

_Dear Kurt,_

_Please forgive me. I love you. I can't imagine loving anyone but you. It meant nothing. I just missed you so much . . ._

Letter after letter began in futility. Flowers sent – as though a bouquet or potted plant could make up for betrayal. Phone calls never picked up, messages never answered. A picture sent to me of Kurt happy with some other man—someone who deserved him. _You never deserved him will never deserve him again look at how happy he is- _

I snapped awake and sat up in my bed. I didn't hear anything in the house – not surprising, considering that my parents only deigned to show their faces when it would assist in their business ventures and Cooper had found a steady role on some sitcom. No noises, nothing to explain what had woken me up, aside from that dream.

I glanced at the date on my clock radio and felt my heart jump. October 1, 2012. I pinched my arm viciously and the pain convinced me that I was, indeed, _conscious_.

October 1, 2012. The day I messaged Eli the first time.

_I haven't done it._ The thought jarred everything else from my head. _I HAVEN'T DONE IT!_

I pulled my laptop out, booted it up. Went to Facebook (the spawn of all evils), checked my messages, my friends requests, everything.

Eli wasn't on there. I immediately locked my profile down before sitting back with a sigh.

_I HADN'T DONE IT!_

The biggest mistake of my life to date had not occurred – and I wouldn't let it.

Grabbing my cell, I texted a quick message to Kurt. **Had the wrst dream evr babe. I fucked evrythin up b/c I was missing you. Love you so much.**

Yes, it hurt that I didn't get to talk to him very much – but his internship would be horrendously time-consuming. The fact he even landed it spoke to his innate talent and determination to succeed.

I could be supportive of that. I could give him that time to grow.

I could even give that time to myself. Relationships had to be nurtured on both sides. I couldn't keep expecting him to make me happy without me ever saying what my needs are. God. I pulled the same stunt with him at the end of the last school year and almost drove him completely away.

Before Kurt came tiptoeing into my life, I was Blaine Anderson. I knew what that meant. I knew who I was. And I could still keep discovering what that will mean for me in the future. Kurt was such a big part of my life, but I couldn't continue to define myself solely by him.

It wouldn't be fair to him and it hadn't been fair to me.

God, I can't believe I forgot all of that.

My phone buzzed. 2am – he must be working late (or early) on some task for his boss.

**Subconscious is a bitch. Love you too. Cant wait to see you Mr. President!**

A big grin split my face. So he _had_ gotten that message. Maybe I could take one teensy leaf from that dream and go surprise him a couple of weeks early.

_Don't work too hard. XO  
_

I put my phone up, double checked my alarm (and the date, just to be sure), and laid back down to get some sleep.

_Dear God or whoever you are, thank you for that warning. I'm definitely heeding it._

/end/


	2. Chapter 2

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky – Chapter Two

Pairing: Kurt/Blaine

Disclaimer: Still do not belong to me. And after what happened this week on Glee, I think firing the writers and Ryan Murphy would be entirely too kind.

Premise: The separation. Was it honestly necessary?

* * *

The summer of 2011 passed entirely too slowly for Kurt's liking. He certainly had enjoyed spending uninterrupted time with his girls and his boyfriend (and yes, the word still gave him such a secret thrill), but time with the latter had been shocking scarce, truth be told.

Blaine had performed a three week run of shows at Six Flags in Chicago. After his run had concluded, he had continued to be busy with family obligations and other pursuits. What time they had shared though certainly hadn't been wasted. Kurt sighed, remembering several long, lazy afternoons curled up together, trading kisses, secrets, and dreams.

"Come to McKinley this year," he had proposed impulsively. "I want my senior year to be magic." The idea had been placed before Blaine shortly after the previous scholastic year had ended.

Logistically, it didn't make a lot of sense. While not from Westerville proper, a daily commute for Blaine (though feasible) would eat up quite a bit of each morning and afternoon. Kurt had briefly daydreamed about Blaine staying with his family each week and going back home to his parents on the weekend but even he knew not to completely push his luck with his dad.

His senior year. The words echoed again in his head and Kurt frowned. Thanks to certain unnamed homophobic assholes at Blaine's first high school, he wouldn't be graduating with Kurt. It was another reason why Kurt wanted Blaine at McKinley with him. He knew the odds of a high school romance remaining intact afterward were certainly stacked against him – against them both. Was it selfish of him to want to spend as much time as possible together before hand?

Maybe. Maybe not.

* * *

"Guess what?" Blaine's voice on the phone sounded so happy. Kurt could picture the enormous grin on his face that was accompanying his words. It was enough to make him smile, almost helplessly.

"You've burned all of your blazers?"

"Blasphemy!" Blaine's faux-outrage was adorable. "And I thought you _loved_ my blazers."

"I love _you_," Kurt countered. "I just don't particularly love you wearing those blazers."

"Now I know what to get you for Christmas. But seriously, guess what?"

Kurt restrained an eyeroll but the grin never left his face. "Tell me."

"We are going to have an _awesome_ senior year at McKinley."

Oh.

My.

Gaga.

"Seriously?!" Kurt squealed out loud and waved Finn away when he poked his head into Kurt's room, looking concerned. "You're coming to McKinley with me?"

"Not only that, but I'm _graduating _with you."

The true reasons behind Blaine's impossibly busy summer schedule became clear. He had negotiated a shorter job at Six Flags to give himself the time to complete enough online classes to bump himself back up to his proper year.

"We're going to be together," Kurt whispered faintly.

"You said you were never saying goodbye to me." Blaine's voice became thick. "I realized that I _really_ didn't want to say goodbye to you."

/end/


	3. Chapter 3

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky - Chapter Three

Pairing: Kurt/Blaine

Timeline: Set during "I Do".

Disclaimer: I think we know that these characters do not belong to me.

Premise: What if Kurt had been smacked with a Clue-by-Four?

* * *

Kurt was unceremoniously pulled from the Schuester non-wedding reception by a small yet very determined young girl. Whether in New York or Lima, some things simply would not change. Granted, in prior situations he had at least known who the small-but-determined girl was.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" the girl fiercely hissed at him as soon as she felt they were far enough away from the festivities to remain uninterrupted.

"Excuse me?" Kurt was indignant. He didn't know this girl, nor did he know why she was interrupting his plans for the evening. _It's been too long and he still looks so beautiful. _

"Did you _seriously_ think that you could waltz back here, fuck with Blaine's heart and mind by simply _fucking_ him even though you know it has NEVER been a physical relationship between you two and then just jet back off to New York to conveniently forget him _AGAIN?!"_

Wow. He had honestly never seen someone's eyes flash so dangerously before. Kurt took a quick glance around but there was nothing he could use as a handy shield or excuse to break away.

"Look, I don't think what Blaine and I do is any of your business-"

The girl sneered at him. "Oh, I very much beg to differ. It IS my business when it involves someone who has become a great friend. I keep wishing his straight clone would magically appear but that doesn't seem likely. You don't get it, do you?"

Kurt swallowed. Certain things he had been trying to forget kept creeping to the front of his mind.

"Blaine—"

"—Don't even begin to pretend you're an innocent in all of this," she continued with a truly nasty glare. "You promised him many pretty things and forgot to keep up your end of the bargain 2.5 nanoseconds after getting on the plane out of here. Why don't you do yourself, not to mention _Blaine_, a serious favor and ask yourself what exactly you brought to the codependent anthem that masqueraded for your relationship. He did practically EVERYTHING and ANYTHING for you. You can't say the same, can you? Yet here you are, back again, not giving an inch but still taking, taking, and taking. Christ. I hope this will at least be enough to teach Blaine that he deserves better than you!"

With a snarled huff, the girl stomped back to the reception, leaving Kurt standing against a wall, stunned beyond speech.

_What is she talking about?_

Memories flooded his mind.

The constant phone calls and visits from Dalton.

Interceding with Karofsky.

Dancing with him when he was crowned Prom Queen despite his fears.

Saying 'I love you' first.

Transferring to McKinley at his encouragement.

Supporting him when he was accused of cheating.

Helping him with NYADA applications.

Taking a laced slushie and nearly losing vision in one eye. Listening to him – forgiving him for the Chandler fiasco.

Holding him up after his NYADA rejection. Encouraging him to leave, to go to New York, to not forget his dreams.

The ring. The promises. Promises Blaine always tried to keep.

The calls Kurt had willfully ignored, telling himself and Blaine that he was just too busy.

Promises that rang so hollow.

False.

_Oh God. I know exactly what she is talking about._

* * *

They still went to the hotel.

Kurt held Blaine in his arms all night. They alternated between talking, crying, and clinging tightly to each other.

They couldn't go back to the way things had been before. But both were now willing to work towards something better. Something different.

"Wonder who that girl was," Blaine murmured sleepily against Kurt's next. "She doesn't sound familiar."

"She didn't say anything that wasn't true." Kurt hummed under his breath. "Whoever she is, whatever her reason - I'm glad she confronted me."

"Me too." A kiss accompanied the words, lightly brushed against his cheek. "Me too."

/end/


	4. Chapter 4

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky – Chapter Four

Characters: Burt Hummel, Kurt Hummel, David Karofsky, Paul Karofsky

Disclaimer: I think we all know that these characters do not belong to me.

Premise: In season two, was expulsion the only route that could have been taken to handle Karofsky? I am taking some liberties with the sequence of events in "Never Been Kissed".

* * *

"It's your kid's word against mine and I'll have you know that David would _never_ harm anyone!" Paul Karofsky was breathing heavily at the end of the meeting between parents and students.

Kurt inwardly noted that puce would never be an attractive color on anyone. Not that he would make these observations out loud. He glanced over at his own father, who had a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"Online footage, courtesy of many of this school's cheerleaders and David's fellow jocks, says otherwise," Burt responded flatly, his tone frigid. Dave Karofsky tried to meet his eyes, to look intimidating, but quickly dropped his head.

Paul looked genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?"

A laptop was hooked up to the room's projector. Burt found several of the posts Jacob Ben Israel, Azimio, and several other WMHS students had placed on a YouTube channel dedicated to the Gleeks – The Losers – The Freaks.

The first video showed numerous locker-slams continually looped.

The second had slushy highlights.

The third was dedicated solely to 'Hummel Hammering' and Kurt buried his face against his father's shoulder. Bad enough that he couldn't handle the situation on his own – but to have it all online for the whole world to see was incredibly humiliating.

It did, however, lend credibility to his complaints despite Figgins' best efforts to discredit the sources or the ramifications. "Mr. Hummel never made complaints before-"

"-Because the one time I tried, you told me I needed to suck it up and deal with it since I insisted on being 'this way!'" Kurt burst out angrily. "I NEVER walked up to anyone on one of those tapes and said 'Please, torture me, you know I deserve it'. NEVER. And you're still going to say this was my fault?"

Paul Karofsky's gaze alternated between the laptop, Kurt, and his son. He was still breathing heavily, but he was no longer trying to defend his son's actions. Maybe he understood that they honestly couldn't be defended.

At that time, Burt nodded to another man standing in the room with them. The man identified himself as an officer of the local courthouse and presented the Karofskys with several pieces of documentation.

"-this restraining order pertains to Kurt Hummel, Burt Hummel, Carol Hudson, and Finn Hudson. Neither yourself nor your son, identified as David Karofsky, are permitted within 500 feet of the aforementioned individuals for a period not to exceed three years. At the time of expiration, the order can be revoked or continued at the discretion of the aforementioned parties. Violations of this order can and will result in arrest, potential jail time, and penalties."

The papers were signed and notarized. A copy was presented to Principal Figgins who seemed to have run out of words of protest.

"I can't come back to McKinley because of this," Dave said faintly, looking sick.

"No, you can't come back to McKinley because I want my son to be safe," Burt said flatly. "And I can promise you that similar orders will be presented to your fellow hockey and football teammates if the situation at that school does not improve," he added, turning his head to make eye contact with Figgins.

The man gulped but nodded.

Kurt sat back up and held his head up high as the Karofskys and Figgins left the room. He wasn't going to kid himself and think that the court order would magically solve all of his problems at school. But it was a start. He really needed to thank Blaine for giving him the restraining order idea to begin with.

Pulling out his phone, he saw an unopened text.

_How did things go today?_

_**Better than I expected. Thanks for the info. Didn't know stuff was online.**_

_Google has never let me down._

_**I'm keeping your number. Hope that's okay.**_

_More than okay. C U tomorrow at the Lima Bean. Courage, Kurt. :)_

He closed his phone with a sigh. Burt still had a hand on his shoulder. "Ready to go home, kiddo?"

"Absolutely."

Maybe the rest of the year would go without him having to stock clothes in his locker. Or maybe he would be taking both athletic teams to court.

Either way, no one pushed the Hummels around and it was past time for Kurt to remember that.

/end/


	5. Chapter 5

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky – Chapter Five

Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry

Premise: After two years of non-stop torment, why would Kurt blindly accept the word of his former bully and return to McKinley?

Disclaimer: I still don't own Glee. Thursday's fiasco-masquerading-as-a-season-finale would have been much different.

* * *

"-you don't understand!" Kurt jerked his phone away from his ear to spare his eardrums more of Rachel's shrill cries. "Santana has this new thing going and everyone's getting left alone. You can come back-"

"-and return to being ignored, marginalized, barely tolerated, and still looking over my shoulder because the very person who _threatened my life_ has mysteriously turned a new leaf?" Kurt interrupted, pinching his brow and breathing deeply. "Rachel, kindly pass on to Santana – and the rest of you guys, for that matter, my sincere congratulations for your upcoming trip to Nationals. If anyone wants to know which sights are absolute must-sees and which ones are postcard fodder, I'll be glad to offer an illustrated guide."

"Kurt." Her voice had never sounded so small. "You won't be able to go with us. And we need you-"

"-oh yes. It's always what _you_ need compared to my needs," he stated flatly. "I've already done well enough here to qualify for a senior-year scholarship, which takes all expense worries off my dad's shoulders. I might not be singing lead here but at least I can sing wherever I please without being shoved against a wall or having profanity scrawled all over my locker! At least -" his shoulders were shaking and he knew Rachel could hear the budding tears, but he was beyond caring – "at least I can walk anywhere on campus holding my boyfriend's hand and my very life isn't in danger!"

Not wanting to hear her next excuse, he snapped the phone shut. Turning to his left, he saw Blaine standing nearby, a sympathetic look on his face.

"Need to talk about it?" He offered his hand and Kurt held it gratefully.

"No. Not really." He wiped furiously at his cheeks with his other hand. "I said what I needed to say to her. I have so many reasons to stay here. I don't want to leave."

"I'm glad to hear that," Blaine said, the serious expression on his face betrayed by the corners of his mouth twitching. "I'd hate to have to smuggle myself home with you in your suitcase."

Kurt sniffed. "As if I'd let you in there. Prada isn't just a label, Blaine. It's a way of _life_."

His phone buzzed in his pocket. A quick glance had him returning it without answering. Blaine squeezed his hand but asked no questions.

He had already heard the answers that he needed.

/end/


	6. Chapter 6

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky – Chapter Six

Characters: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Premise: Happily ever after? Does such a thing really exist?

* * *

Blaine's handwriting was smooth. No hesitation marks, no space unnecessarily wasted, and all letters slanted optimistically to the right.

_Dear Kurt,_

_I've started and stopped this letter probably five hundred times. I keep trying to make it perfect – and isn't that something I've always done? Put myself through any kind of configuration and stress, no matter how sick or unrealistic, just to see smiles on other people's faces. I like to think that I'm very good at that. _

_I would do it for my mom when I was a kid. I learned how cute I had to be on any given day and she would smile and hug me._

_I tried to do the same thing for my dad. Even rebuilding that old Chevy was just another way to try to make him happy, since me being happy wasn't such a priority. I tried, and he tried, and I can truthfully say that it failed spectacularly but we were oddly content with the failure as a whole._

_And now I have to admit that I tried the same thing with you._

_At first, I thought you needed a friend. A guide. Maybe I shouldn't have put myself in the role of mentor – it was rather presumptuous of me – but there was no one else to fill the need that you had and I was so thankful to do it for you._

_When the blinders fell off my eyes and I finally understood everything you had had in your heart from the very beginning, I thought 'this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is someone I know how to make happy.'_

_Last year wasn't that magical – and I tried my hardest there too. I put you on a pedestal and Chandler quickly knocked it down. I looked at my magical little songbird and saw for the first time how beautifully _human _you are._

_Well._

_I guess that's the only excuse I can truly give for my betrayal of our trust and our relationship. I've learned in these weeks of silence that I am human too._

_I'm not going to continue calling you. I'm not going to keep sending correspondence after this letter. You want your space and I will respect that._

_I'm not going to keep kicking myself over this either because I've also learned that it was never truly about you nor was it truly about me._

_It was about _us_. We knew how to thrive together but never really figured out how to do the same when we were apart._

_I _never _missed one of your calls, Kurt._

_Now I've given myself permission to be pissed that you found it acceptable to miss mine. Not an occasional thing either – we talked _twice _in the entire two months you were in New York before I finally had enough of you being the only person doing the talking._

_You see, my parents put me in second place. They taught me it was acceptable and I should be grateful for whatever scraps of affection they could show me._

_I never dreamed I would repeat the same pattern with the love of my life._

_I have to wonder if that label was given too soon. Did you love me or was it the fact I was the first boy willing to hold your hand? I never dreamed I would be asking that question, but there it is._

_I wish I could stop loving you but I can't. I always will love you._

_It's just time for me to love myself too._

_Give New York your brand of hell and shine, Kurt. I wish you nothing but the best. I'm wishing myself the same thing._

_Love always,_

_Blaine_

Teardrops dampened the bottom of the page, but Blaine's hands were steady as he folded the paper, slipped it into a pre-addressed envelope, and put it out with the mail.

* * *

He heard nothing for weeks.

Weeks turned into months.

Kurt was standing on his doorstep just before those months turned into a full year.

His eyes were still so beautiful, so open, and so yearning.

The yearning matched the expression Blaine saw on his own face each time he looked in the mirror.

"I got your letter." Kurt's voice was rough. "I read it. I screamed. I threw things against the wall. I smashed your picture to hell. And I tried to forget you."

His hand met Blaine's. He looked at their joined hands as though the action had occurred without his permission.

"I couldn't forget you."

"I couldn't forget you either," Blaine admitted. "I'm not apologizing for what I wrote."

"I'm not asking you to."

They weren't what they had been before. They couldn't ever be that again. The old despair welled up once more within Blaine. "So what are you asking me?"

"Is it all right if I honestly don't know?" Blaine's other hand reached up at Kurt's words and wiped away tears from his face.

One word would have sent Kurt from him forever.

"Of course it is," he replied instead, feeling the old pain begin to disappear. "Of course it is."

/end/


	7. Chapter 7

Title: I'm Feeling Lucky – Chapter Seven

Premise: It's difficult to believe in today's age of cellphones, social networks, and cameras, that the parents of WMHS could be so completely oblivious to what was happening at school. And what if certain people really did have cameras everywhere?

Disclaimer: Glee still isn't mine. More's the pity.

* * *

The DVD, encased in a paper sleeve, was found in Hiram Berry's mailbox one afternoon after he had returned home from work. Leroy found him standing in their living room with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What's that?"

"I don't know. Found it in the mailbox with this note." He showed Leroy the paper. **Thought you should know what's going on. **

"I had the computer check this for viruses and other malware. Says it's just a video of some sort."

"Let's watch it."

One scene showed their daughter walking down McKinley's halls with another boy – the Hummel kid. She turned to say something to him and both were immediately covered in blue slush.

Other scenes were similar and equally enraging, but the last set shocked both men to the core.

"She sent one of her classmates to a CRACKHOUSE?!"

When Rachel Berry came home, she found her fathers waiting for her at the door.

"Dad?"

* * *

Michelle Azimio had found a similar DVD with an identical note.

She watched her son, her pride and joy, so sweet and kind whenever she had eyes on him, turn into a borderline sociopathic monster within the walls of that school.

She also saw the other students who witnessed his behavior and the teachers that condoned it or simply found it easier to feign ignorance.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she muttered out loud.

"Tell you what, Mom?"

He was standing in the door.

She shook her head in disappointed fury. "The truth about what you've been doing at school!"

* * *

Paul Karofsky didn't wait for Dave to return home. He went up to the school and immediately withdrew him.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"I'm doing something I should have done _years_ ago." Dave's locker contents were stacked unceremoniously in the back of the car.

"What did I do?"

Paul met his son's eyes squarely. "What _didn't_ you do?"

* * *

"You didn't tell me it was that bad," Burt Hummel whispered, his son curled up against him.

"I didn't want to worry you-"

"I'm your dad. That's my job. That, and loving you. I'm not letting you go back there, whatever it takes."

He had screamed at his office computer at the garage after putting in the DVD. His son, so small compared to the other students in so many ways, enduring torment after torment.

_How could they do that to him?_

_Why didn't anyone care?_

His eyes strayed to the note.

_Someone did._

* * *

"So who do you think put all of this together?" Several of the parents had called one another to compare stories and that question was quickly bandied about.

"Probably another student," was the general consensus. "One who saw what was happening and also saw the adults wouldn't do anything."

Anonymity would protect that student. If he/she were ever found out, there would be both personal and potential legal consequences. Parents, outraged at the supposed violation of privacy as much as by their offsprings' actions, would gladly leap upon a scapegoat. Anything to keep from facing the truth.

* * *

Ultimately, several students did not return to McKinley. Dave Karofsky and Marcus Azimio both wound up at the same alternative school - one designed to help teenagers with emotional issues.

Rachel Berry wrote a letter to Sunshine Corazon apologizing for her previous actions. She received no reply (not that she had really expected one) and found it left a cold knot in her gut whenever she remembered the heated lecture she had been subjected to.

_You are NOT the only member worthy of consideration in that club. _

Burt Hummel wouldn't allow Kurt to return to McKinley. His new school had codes of conduct modeled after Westerville's Dalton Academy and the few friends he maintained contact with at McKinley reported that he sounded much happier.

* * *

Sue Sylvester walked out of her office, a snide smirk on her face. Nothing different from what others expected of her and no one would ever look deeper. After all, no one could conceive that arguably the biggest bully within McKinley's walls would get tired of seeing what happened in front of her day after day.

Her cameras really were everywhere and seeing sweet Porcelain's back collide so swiftly with the sharp corner of two intersecting calls had snapped something within her.

Printer paper could be bought anywhere and harddrives could be wiped if the need ever arose.

Porcelain was apparently happy. No one at his new school was worthy of his attentions, but he had met someone who hailed from the new school's model. Too short, hair too gelled, smile too bright, but Porcelain deserved something pretty after all the trouble he had been through.

And if Too-Short-Too-Gelled ever crossed him, she would know.

Her cameras were _everywhere._

/end/


End file.
